In the American religious tradition, church has been done a certain way for hundreds of years. Even if you change the “paint job” on the church body—for example, moving from high church with Scriptural chants to a modern, charismatic church where people run the aisles in praise—church has still been structured in largely the same way for a long time.

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Right now, people are leaving that structure en masse, finding it no longer useful or relevant to their needs—and finding it lacking compared with God’s description of real church in the Word.

So is leaving a church a good thing to do, or a bad one?

Is “moving your letter” or “transferring your membership” or simply starting a home group and leaving organized church entirely a fleshly move? Or could it be dictated by the Spirit of God?

In order to understand things based on the Word of God, we must distinguish between these two categories of reasons for leaving a church. Let’s take a look today at different reasons a person could have for leaving a church—reasons that are either flesh or spirit.

First, since these are easier to identify, let’s look at some fleshly reasons for leaving a church.

For example, if a person says:

“I don’t want to attend that church because they talk about money. It’s my money and I’m keeping it, and I don’t need that pastor telling me what to do with it.”

This is a fleshly reason for leaving a church, for it demonstrates an unwillingness to submit one’s finances to the Lord. Any lack of Lordship is a demonstration that we are walking in the flesh, not the Spirit.

To clarify: A pastor’s job is to help you grow in all areas of godliness.

Since the Bible has a huge amount to say about how we should handle money, a pastor should be teaching about biblical stewardship—including the discipline of giving! And, if we are truly submitted to the Lord, we as individual believers will be eager to learn the teachings of Scripture about money. We will also be eager to grow in the God-like exercise of giving. (Remember that God so loved the world that He gave.)

Leaving a church because one does not want to hear biblical truth is a fleshly reason to leave, every time.

However, if a person says:

“I’m leaving that church because there’s no place for me to use my spiritual gifts. The pastors do all the ministry and the saints do none. There’s no discipleship, mentoring, or practical equipping. There’s no path for me to learn, grow in, or practice what I’m called to do. All they want me to do is greet visitors at the door and pay my tithe, but I want to practice using my gifts!”

In that case, that’s a Spirit-led reason because it aligns with Scripture. The Bible says:

And He Himself gave some to be apostles, some prophets, some evangelists, and some pastors and teachers, for the equipping of the saints for the work of ministry, for the edifying of the body of Christ,

till we all come to the unity of the faith and of the knowledge of the Son of God, to a perfect man, to the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ; that we should no longer be children, tossed to and fro and carried about with every wind of doctrine, by the trickery of men, in the cunning craftiness of deceitful plotting,

but, speaking the truth in love, may grow up in all things into Him who is the head—Christ—from whom the whole body, joined and knit together by what every joint supplies, according to the effective working by which every part does its share, causes growth of the body for the edifying of itself in love (Ephesians 4:11-16 NKJV).

So in this example, the man or woman of God has noticed that the five-fold ministers at that church (apostle, prophet, evangelist, pastor, and teacher) are simply doing the ministry themselves, but not teaching anyone else how to do ministry. In that case, this is a dysfunctional church that is not doing its job. And despite church culture that tells us things like:

• We should love the pastor enough to stay in a dysfunctional church;
• We should submit to authority and stay if the pastor says we should;
• We may not be ready to minister on our own, so we should just sit in rows and continue watching the pastor, hoping that someday we will be “released” to minister …

The fact is that God’s Word reigns supreme over all those cultural norms, biases, and stereotypes.

And submitting to something that is not in alignment or agreement with God’s Word reminds us of what Peter and John said to the Pharisees in the book of Acts:

But Peter and John answered and said to them, “Whether it is right in the sight of God to listen to you more than to God, you judge” (Acts 4:19).

So in this second illustration, the person decided to leave the church because they elected to listen to God, rather than to man. And yet, many times they suffer as a result.

I personally hear from readers all over the country on an almost daily basis about these things, and it breaks my heart.

When it comes right down to it, aren’t we all part of the Kingdom?

If we have made Jesus Christ our Savior, even if we don’t agree and aren’t all called to be under the same church-house roof, can’t we just love each other?

Can we remember that we shall all be changed—meaning, we will all need to be changed—in a moment, in the twinkling of an eye, when Jesus comes back?

And could we keep in mind that our own experiences, hurts, and wounds will sometimes cause us to see through a glass, darkly—but that God’s Word contains all truth, all light, and is our ultimate and final Calibrator?

Friend, just because someone leaves a church doesn’t mean they sinned by doing so.

Perhaps God wants them to start a new thing, learn a new thing, or is sending them out into a different mission field. Perhaps they were correct in discerning that something at that church was unholy, and they didn’t want to submit themselves to ungodly authority. Perhaps the Lord has a divine appointment for them elsewhere.

And of course, if they are leaving for a fleshly reason that is itself unbiblical, then yes: we should pray for them. But the mere act of leaving a church does not, in itself, constitute a wrong decision.

“I never said it was wrong to leave a church,” you say?

And if you didn’t, that’s good. But many people every day experience rejection, hurt, judgment, and ostracism for the mere act of leaving a church—even when it’s for spiritual reasons.

Let’s do what we can to change that, shall we? Let’s all remember that none of us is perfect; we each are on a journey of following Christ as we can from day to day. And when it comes to people who leave a church for biblical reasons, let’s together remember the words of Romans 14:4:

Who are you to judge another’s servant? To his own master he stands or falls. Indeed, he will be made to stand, for God is able to make him stand (Romans 14:4 NKJV).

Have you experienced ostracism for leaving a church? Or, on the opposite side, have you condemned someone for leaving a church? How can we work together to change church culture to be more biblical in this area? Leave a comment below!

This article is the 3rd in a series. You may also be interested in A Growing Hunger for ‘True Church’ and  Does God Ever Break Up Churches?

Jamie Rohrbaugh is the founder and CEO of From His Presence. She is the author of Victory In the Camp of the Lord Volume 1: Healing from Fear. Her resources have been published by YouVersion Bible Plans, Charisma Magazine, The Elijah List, Spirit Fuel, and various other ministry outlets. You can find free mentoring on her podcast, Take Your Territory with Jamie Rohrbaugh, which is available through your favorite podcast streaming app. Download her free prayer tool, Praying the Names of God: 555 Biblical Names of God and How to Use Them in Prayer and Worship, here. Photo Credit: Canva.