As we gather with family members for the Thanksgiving holiday and will again for the Christmas holiday in a mere few weeks, we may be thinking about the blessing and the pain in our families and about God’s ultimate plan for the institution He created–family. This article was initially published in an IFA newsletter in November, 1990.  

In our ministries to families, we have adopted a most important theme: “Life is relationships.” One of the key foundation stones of our nation is strong, healthy families, and these are begun with the covenant of marriage. The stability of this relationship promotes family unity which is the backbone of a stable society. 

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It is significant that the Bible focuses on the FAMILY as being central in communicating faith to our children. Nearly every problem in our society can be traced to a failure to build our families on the Word of God. The Fatherhood of God is the authority on which all good relationships are built. When the founders of America were settling on a form of government, they went directly to the Bible. Upon its precepts they established the authority of civil government. The Word of God clearly teaches people how to live in relationship with one another. In a family, the individual is taught to live under the authority of God, thereby coming to know the essence of Fatherhood. 

The most important element missing in our culture today is this element of Fatherhood. Fatherhood is authority! In Ephesians 3:14-15, Paul says, “I kneel before the Father, from whom His whole family in heaven and earth derives its name.” 

The psalmist said, “God set the lonely in families.” (Psalm 68:6) The family is where a person learns how to relate and conduct himself as a citizen of the land, and as a member of the body of Christ. Foundations of discipline are set–rules of behavior that must be taught and learned. To most of us, “discipline” is an undesirable word. But it is absolutely necessary if a people are to live together under our system of government. 

Discipline is an acquired pattern of behavior. It demands regulation, and, because of our nature, that regulation must be established by someone other than ourselves. The regulations of God form His Fatherhood, bringing us into Sonship. The family unit is an organism made up of relationships which are established in a two-fold direction—both horizontal and vertical. In the family a child learns to submit to authority. At the same time he learns to deal with the confrontations of living with other people of equal standing.

However, the “American Way” of life is fast becoming what Isaiah saw when he wrote, “Each of us has turned to his own way.” (Isaiah 53:6) The independent spirit of “doing my own thing” has brought America into decline and to a dangerous place. Forces are at work using subtle ways of encouraging such a lawless spirit. 

The family is a vital link between the individual, his nation and his church. A good life is produced by good relationships, learned in the home under the oversight of parents called to administer the loving fatherhood of God. Most behavioral problems encountered by adults could have and should have been corrected when they were children under their parents’ direction. 

Today we need to reverse the trend which our society has drifted into. It is crucial that we see what we are producing. The leaders for all segments of our culture will emerge from the children now being raised in our homes. Thus, a return to biblical family life is essential. 

The family is the training ground for any successful society. If training in responsible behavior does not occur in the home, someone else will have to deal with the problems arising from this lack of training later. When young people enter society, their pattern of conduct and morality is already set. Suddenly, they encounter the authority which is necessary to the orderly functioning of society. If they cannot live correctly in society, the state must often stress correctives that should have been applied in the home. 

Training a child to be a responsible person demands commitment and courage. Unity is essential between parents. A couple must develop a harmonious relationship which calls for sacrificing their spirit of independence so they are then able to give full attention to their roles as parents. 

Parent-child interaction should be a series of exchanges from which a step-by-step plan of maturity comes into view. First there is instruction; then comes correction. Make sure instructions are clearly understood, then correct it with reproof if necessary. Try again. IF your instructions have been carried out, commend the child. If not, administer discipline and try again. Consistency and repetition are essential. Weeks or even months are required to set patterns of behavior, both good and bad. And it takes several weeks or longer to change them. Biblica patterns of behavior should be set when children are young and pliable.  

The natural thing for a child to do is to set his own laws. Infants believe that everyone exists just for their benefit. Parents must see that the essential element of their relationship with the child is AUTHORITY. Reasonable boundaries are set by the parents to bring their children into maturity. Parents set these standards, not the child. The discipline of life is set by those given the authority. 

The only focus standing against the elements of destruction in society are the God-ordained family and the Church. Against these two institutions the enemy has arrayed all his forces. Some of the pressures Satan has brought against the family are well disguised, taking on assumed names such as “rights,” not responsibility; or “freedom” versus unity. These must be exposed and resisted with all the power and wisdom that is ours through the Spirit of God. In our homes we must stand and wage warfare against the forces of the “independent self.” 

Any organization, society or nation will go where its leaders take it. Paul told the youthful apostolic leaders: “A leader [in the Body of Christ] must manage his own family well and see that his own children obey him with proper respect.” (1 Timothy 3:4-5) The same is true for any in governmental leadership. 

Christians must pray and intercede fervently for God to restore that which “the locusts have eaten.” Let us all capture the vision of what He is calling us to do as individuals, as couples, as children, to help restore the rightful function of the family in our society. This will involve a strong commitment from us to get our own house in order, demonstrating to all who see us just what it means to BE a family. 

When God spoke to His people of old about prayer for their nation, He addressed Himself to “those who are called by My name.” (2 Chronicles 7:14) Those who are called by His name will bear the responsibility for bringing to Him those prayers which will bring the healing of their nation. May we, who are the people of God, called by His name, take our responsibility in prayer, seeking our identity as HIS FAMILY and Him as our FATHER.

How are you praying for the families and children of America? Share your prayers and scriptures below.

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