I Prayed have prayed
Jesus, thank you for enduring the cross, despising the shame, and sitting down at the right hand of the throne of God. (Heb 12:2) You took our guilt and shame, and we don't have to carry it.
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Have you ever felt like you’re praying on autopilot? By that I mean every time you pray, you repeat the same pattern: you confess a few sins, ask for vague, overarching wishes like world peace, comfort for the sick and protection for your loved ones and then you go to bed. Sound familiar?

I used to pray like this in college. I didn’t tell God about the things my heart truly desired because I felt I didn’t deserve any gifts from Him; my sins seemed too much for Him to look past. Looking back, I now realize I was speaking to God the same way I tend to talk to acquaintances; I put up boundaries in order to avoid discussing the aspects of my life that are not so great.

I felt guilty about the walls I had created between myself and God, which in turn made my prayers shorter and less frequent. I was avoiding Him. I knew HE knew I was not living my life the way He wanted me to be, and the thought of REALLY talking to Him gave me overwhelming feelings of guilt and anxiety. Perhaps you can relate.

Pastor Manny Hastings of C3 Church in New York recently said that oftentimes people associate their time with God as a bank to which they owe debt. When we realize we haven’t spent quality time with God for a while, we feel guilty, as though we owe Him a debt. The anxiety about that “debt” causes us to avoid Him even more, which results in a vicious cycle of self-doubt and further separation from God.

This analogy struck a chord in me. The days of my autopilot prayers were a direct result of a mindset of owing debt. How did I escape that self-defeating cycle? It was a dear friend who explained that I was misperceiving God’s nature. I envisioned God as a disappointed parent, completely overlooking that He had already sent His only Son to die for my sins. My mistakes are ALREADY covered by His grace; He is patiently waiting for me to surrender myself into His arms of loving mercy.

It’s so hard for us to grasp this level of forgiveness; when someone owes us a debt or wrongs us, we are NOT as quick to forgive or to let that person forget their mistakes. But God doesn’t work like that at all. He created us, therefore He knows our weaknesses, just as he knows every hair on our heads. If you’re having doubts about whether He can or will forgive you for “failing” Him, you need to be reminded of these words spoken by Jesus Himself:

“Suppose one of you has a hundred sheep and loses one of them. Doesn’t he leave the ninety-nine in the open country and go after the lost sheep until he finds it? And when he finds it, he joyfully puts it on his shoulders and goes home. Then he calls his friends and neighbors together and says, ‘Rejoice with me; I have found my lost sheep.’  I tell you that in the same way there will be more rejoicing in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who do not need to repent.” (Luke 15:4-7)

Shortly following that excerpt is one of Jesus’ most inspiring parables: the prodigal son, which further affirms His unconditional love for us (Luke 15:11-32). When you turn your heart back to Jesus, He doesn’t make you feel guilty and say, “What took you so long?” No. He celebrates! He carries you into a life of joy and peace.

Christen Limbaugh Bloom is the creator of Haplous, a Christian blog for women seeking peace in a stressful world. Read full article at Fox News. Used with permission.

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Thomas Ferch
April 12, 2019

Dear Lord,
When I hear and understand the depth of Your love, your forgiveness of my sin… even the ones I can’t seem to get past, I am overwhelmed, and sense in a very real way the healing taking place in me. I am drawn in an indescribable way to Your Presence where I feel safe and accepted by You. I want to echo the words of King David: “ Such knowledge is too wonderful for me…” Help me to live in the light of Your forgiveness, letting go of all that is temporary and fleeting. Let me see the eternal in every moment of every day, that I might honor you in all I do.

Laura Nguyen
April 11, 2019

Lord, keep me close to You. Help me to see You as my intimate
friend Whose company I crave and yet also the extraordinary
Creator and Maintainer of the universe. Keep the boundlessness of Who You are in my heart as I go about my day, calling on You, praising You and always looking for You in any situation. Let my every breath be a remembrance of You. Let all my waking moments be a prayer time and my sleep a chance to dream of You. Bless me with all this until I die and can see You in all Your glory. Amen.

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