The following is an excerpt from our devotional series Finding Freedom from Rejection.

FREEDOM THROUGH FORGIVENESS

Forgiving a person is sometimes easier said than done, especially when it’s someone close. It’s often said the closer the relationship, the deeper the wound. How can we respond when we are rejected by loved ones? 

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I grew up without a permanent father figure. I had a wonderful grandfather who was an excellent role model. Although he wasn’t affectionate, I knew he loved me. He never turned me away when I wanted to spend time with him. I grew up resenting my dad for his absence in my life. When he came around, he had a slew of excuses why he could never keep his visitations. He often shamed and blamed my mother for his absence, only making the bitterness deeper.  

I eventually came to an age where I decided to cut him off completely.  

Soon after, I found out my mom tried to terminate her pregnancy with me, and my rejection and wounds grew deeper. I carried the wounds of being “unwanted” with me everywhere. 

Even Christians can hold grudges. As a Christian I still struggled with forgiving my dad. My mom had been gone for years, but soon I realized that even though she was deceased I had to forgive her too. It didn’t come easy, but when I chose to forgive them, I felt like the weight of the world had been lifted off me.  

When I realized I had unforgiveness towards my deceased mom, I began to cry out while praying. I began to release things that I had no idea I was even holding onto. What I thought would take a few seconds to let go of, took much, much longer. Eventually I was overcome with peace and the resentment slowly melted away. I did the same with my dad. We now have a functioning relationship. He calls when he can. He became a Christian and I no longer hold him prisoner in my heart.  

Forgiveness is a mandate for believers. It is non-negotiable. If we want forgiveness, we must also forgive. 

And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. (Mt 6:12) 

“For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.”  (Mt 6:14,15) 

Unforgiveness does more harm to us, than it does to the one we are not forgiving. It leads to mental anguish, depression, even physical health problems. Forgiveness brings the opposite. It refreshes, brings peace, and good health. If you want peace, you must forgive. Peace and unforgiveness cannot cohabitate.   

When we choose forgiveness, we are being Christlike.  

Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.” (Eph 4:32)  

Forgiving those who have hurt you can help you get free. Take time right now, take a paper and pen. Seek the Lord about who hurt you, who rejected you. Oftentimes, it can be the person who pops into your thoughts right away. Sometimes the Lord may recover a hidden memory, something you aren’t aware of that you’ve been storing up. Forgiveness and healing are a process. For some it may come quickly, for others it may take longer. Stay committed to the Lord and the process.  

 If you need help with forgiving those who have rejected you, let’s pray together. 

Father, I come before You. I have been holding anger and unforgiveness in my heart towards _____________.  I release them to You. I do not want to carry this burden any longer. Free me from the bondage of unforgiveness. I give my past to You. I give my wounds, tears, abuse, abandonment, rejection, and the person/ people who hurt me to You. I pray that if they have not found Jesus Christ yet, they will. I pray they will find forgiveness from their sins, just as You forgave me. I don’t need answers. I lay down my need to know why and place it all at the foot of the cross. Thank You for being a God of restoration. Thank You for being my healer. Thank You for being a good Father. I place all my hope and trust in you. In Jesus’ name, Amen.  

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IFA contributing writer Gloria Robles is a passionate intercessor with a prophetic voice for today. For more from Gloria, go to Spotify or Anchor and listen to her podcast, Something To Share. Photo Credit: guvendemir/Getty Images Signature via Canva Teams.