How we communicate matters.

A viewpoint can be communicated with kindness, respect, accuracy, and honor, or with anger, cynicism, exaggeration, and pride. The first communication strategy can lead to healthy debate between individuals and possible persuasion to a new understanding. The second will often end in open conflict, broken relationships, name-calling, and entrenched division.

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I understand that we live in a loud, brash era.

I get it that our political climate is one long string of distorted accusations and yelling feuds. 

I see that social media has removed inhibitions to where anyone can feel a liberty “to tell it like it is.”

But today I want to us to consider this question:

At what cost?

Over the last couple of weeks, the tone among many self-professing believers has changed; and I don’t believe it’s for the best! 

For years, Doug and I have walked alongside parents whose young adult children have wandered away from the faith, many of them embracing progressive ideologies. Some continued to name Christ while moving their views toward heresy. Distressed parents were left asking why.

The reasons are complicated and varying. We have discussed them quite often here on Project 7000. But here is a big one: the younger generation is suspicious of those who act “mean” or insensitive. They have grown up on a misaligned diet of “justice talk.” They are not impressed with conservative political talking points, bristle at God and country patriotism, and consider their parents remarkably unscientific. And down at their core, many find evangelicals who intertwine Americanism and Christianity offensive.

Am I saying that all of their objections are good, accurate, or valid? Absolutely not! They are fundamentally flawed and distorted as we have discussed in great detail over the years. But, these deeply held objections are seeming to be a strong excuse standing in the way between many young people and salvation.

So what do we do with that data? Do I just call all their views 100% wrong and throw off their concerns as nothing more than deceptive foolishness?

I personally don’t consider that to be wise. 

What if a generation of young people truly believe we are “all that” and “deplorable” too? Is that our fault? Or our responsibility? How can we possibly do anything about it if they have us stereotyped into such an unfair image?

Actually, we probably can’t change people’s pre-conceived views very easily. And living in fear of displeasing them so that we compromise truth is never the answer. So what can we do short of giving up our righteous calling?

We can be smart. We can find ways to look for the small kernel of truth to their objections, repent of any convicted errors, and keep growing up in Christ. 

As a mom with many years of parenting experience, I have learned an amazing technique when my teens were trying to dismiss me by throwing me into a prejudiced category:

Don’t behave in line with their stereotype!

Don’t give them fuel for their fire!

I learned this in little ways that really helped me over the years. Here are a few examples that come to mind:

If they thought I was stodgy and out of step with style, I would come home from the store with something right in the center of new fashion.

If they thought I was no fun and they needed to run out of the house to go be with their friends, I created the best party in town and just dared them to want to invite their friends over.

If they thought I was old-fashioned and wasn’t interested in their Christian music, I had them load my phone with whatever they were finding meaningful.

Why did I do this? I was after a higher goal. I was after their hearts and their souls. I was sowing toward a discipleship relationship that would last for a lifetime. 

Why do I say all of this today?

I am deeply concerned with the conservative Christian credibility and image in this hour. Too often I see evidence that we are acting like their stereotypes of us…to a tee! And I think we need to check ourselves.

I understand we each have our own opinions right now of what is going on with the virus, the economy, the politics, and prophecies. And we might be right…or we might be wrong with what we’re thinking. (Only time will really tell.)

But if we are dogmatic, harsh, and insensitive…if we call every trained expert a fraud; if we cling to unsubstantiated rumors as if we know they are facts; if we run around demanding our “rights” while others are waiting patiently by, we are are in danger of confirming what they think we are.

And we could make some of the worst mistakes of our lives. We could damage our witness to this generation that we so desperately want to see turn to Christ.

I’m praying earnestly for brokenness and humility in the church in this hour. I’m praying for wisdom and temperance and godly leadership like never before. These are moments that will mark us for years to come. The stakes are high and we MUST hit high marks of maturity.

Let’s go back and review my opening paragraph again:

“How we communicate matters. A viewpoint can be communicated with kindness, respect, accuracy, and honor, or with anger, cynicism, exaggeration, and pride. The first communication strategy can lead to healthy debate between individuals and possible persuasion to a new understanding. The second will often end in open conflict, broken relationships, name-calling, and entrenched division.”

Here’s the bottom line: 

If we have tough decisions to make or unpopular viewpoints to share, may we be people of self-control, speaking the truth in love, binding kindness around our necks, and under such anointing that God will be demonstrated in the midst of the fiery trial that others are getting burned by!

(Used with permission from Project 7000. Article by Lisa Cherry.)