If there’s anything we absolutely must learn, that would be to always ask God for wisdom. This is especially true when it comes to prayer. And seeking His wisdom there means to always be praying according to His will and not our own.

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At IFA’s Policy & Prayer earlier this year, I had the privilege of being able to hear wisdom — and to pray for someone whom the Lord has placed in a special position of authority. This was a teachable moment for me. And we, as believers, should always strive to be teachable. 

On Jan. 3, 2021, Margaret G. Kibben was sworn in as chaplain of the U.S. House of Representatives. Kibben served as the 18th chaplain of the U.S. Marine Corps from 2010 to 2014, as well as the 26th chief of chaplains of the U.S. Navy from 2014 to 2018. Kibben was the first woman ever to hold those positions. She has also received several medals for her Navy service as a rear admiral.

I admire someone of her character and with her tough-as-nails persona, but Kibben is also incredibly meek, wise, and thoughtful. IFA was privileged to listen to some of Kibben’s stories of things that happened while she was on military campaigns. She also shared accounts about her time serving as chaplain for the House of Representatives. Above all, she offered pearls of wisdom on praying for our representatives and leaders, and on prayer in general. 

Every morning she has the honor of opening the House in prayer and of ministering to the representatives and their staff. But the chaplain wanted to make clear that she is not a “political” person. And she describes the 435 elected representatives in the House as being “real people with real lives and problems, whether we agree with their politics or not.” There is a bipartisan prayer breakfast every Thursday, and every Wednesday a Bible study is held in the Capitol. “The Enemy wants you to think there is no faith in the House of Representatives,” Kibben says. “Ninety-five percent of those people are those of faith, and some have stronger faith than others. Some are more mature than others.”

And she reminds us that other people do not necessarily have to meet our expectations: “It’s alright if someone’s faith doesn’t look exactly like ours.” That is true. We Christians may be too quick to write off an immature believer as being “unsaved” if he or she does not happen to match our own expectations for “faith.” This can be a stumbling block for a young believer. We may not all be on the same level of faith, but we are all in Christ, and that means we are on the same page: There’s room for each of us to mature and to grow in Christ every day, and we often grow through trial and error. 

In seeking to pray for our elected leaders, Kibben says, there are several things we must keep in mind.

Build Trust

“You must establish trust with the people you are praying for,” said Kibben. “People have a natural tendency to question your motives. You must find a way to be vulnerable with them, so they feel safe enough to be vulnerable with you. If the trust isn’t there, the prayers won’t land.”

Well, I know that when I pray for someone, I want my prayers to “land,” don’t you? That means a greater chance for a response, or for an invitation for them to come to know God if they do not already. 

You ask [God for something] and do not receive it, because you ask with wrong motives [out of selfishness or with an unrighteous agenda], so that [when you get what you want] you may spend it on your [hedonistic] desires (see James 4:3 AMP).

Be Sensitive to a Person’s Needs

The chaplain shared one story that was quite sad. She said that interns are the ones who open and read every piece of mail that goes to the representatives, and they are often “traumatized by the amount of vitriol” they receive. Vitriol is cruel and bitter criticism, but another definition likens it to a destructive acid. These people are doing their jobs and bearing the brunt, the insults, the criticism, and whatever else is in those emails. Can you imagine the relief it must be when they open your email that says you are praying for them?

“If you have a generous, heartfelt, and loving desire to pray for people, they will notice,” said Kibben. “If you are willing to let God’s love work through you, they will see God’s love for them. Don’t be self-righteous.” 

“By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another” (John 13:35).

The Delivery Does Matter

When the time comes for you to speak up or pray about an important matter, your delivery matters just as much as your message. “People often think they have to be the strongest or loudest in the room, but we mustn’t forget about respect,” Kibben said. And yes, that is important for us to remember, given that gentleness and kindness are fruits of the Spirit. This is Christlike character we should strive to cultivate.

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law (Galatians 5:22–23). 

Are We Praying, or Preying?

If you are presented with an opportunity to pray for a leader, or for anyone in general, Kibben offers this advice: “Don’t prey on; pray for.” 

Two similar sounding words — but what a vast difference between them. Preying is predatory in nature, while praying is submissive. We must submit ourselves to the Lord and to His will above our own. If we are honest with ourselves, we must admit that we’ve made this mistake before: In our zeal to pray, how many of us aggressively pursue instead of letting the Holy Spirit lead us in prayer. Preying is forceful and demanding, but prayer is an act of love. Though love is a powerful force, it is also patient and kind.

Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things (1 Corinthians 13:4–7).

Listen First, Speak Second

When asked how intercessors could pray for her, Kibben paused. In fact, she paused after every question, really listening and taking time to think before answering. I would say that listening is in itself a “lost art” of prayer. Often in prayer we tend to dominate the conversation with our requests, but prayer is a two-way line with the Father: He speaks, and we listen, just as much as we speak and He listens. 

My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry (James 1:19 NIV).

Kibben requested that we remember the Capitol Police when praying; there’s a lack of funding, and they have no chaplain. 

Pray for all the other chaplains to be effective in their ministry.

Pray that Kibben would keep a pure heart, and that she might be known and trusted by those she serves. She loves Psalm 26, and she makes it the personal prayer for her life. 

Can we thank God for those in office who represent Him? As we offer thanks, let’s also pray that they would steward their office well and with all integrity. 

Let’s pray now:

Father, thank You for the ministry of Chaplain Kibben and for the heart she’s got to minister to those she serves in the House of Representatives. Thank You that there are people of Christian faith who are serving our nation in government. As they participate in prayer breakfasts and Bible studies, we pray that You would speak to them. We lift those leaders up to You, and we pray that they would always seek You prayerfully before they attempt to serve the people. 

We pray for those in the House who do not know You. We pray that those prayers they’re receiving from intercessors would “land.” We pray that Your word would penetrate the stony places of their hearts and that they would be saved and come to the knowledge of the truth. 

We seek Your blessing over Chaplain Kibben and the other chaplains, that they would always lean on You. When times get chaotic and divisive, may the counsel of the Lord be always upon their lips. Let Your words be ever stored in their hearts. And let them be ready to answer every representative with a proper word in due season. In Jesus’ name. Amen.

If you’ve got a prayer for officials and chaplains in your heart just now, please share it below.

IFA contributing writer Gloria Robles is a passionate intercessor with a prophetic voice for today. For more from Gloria, go to Spotify or Anchor and listen to her podcast, Something To Share. Photo Credit: Intercessors for America.