Friend, are you wearing yourself out by “fighting to the death” on every hill you see?

“What do you mean by that?” you ask? Just this:

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The world is full of people, and all of them are unique. Each person’s uniqueness means that we think in unique ways, say unique things, and do things differently from how other people do them. We also learn differently, carry out tasks differently, and execute plans differently—with different rationale, processes, priorities, and procedures.

Connect with others in your state in prayer.

But with more than 20 years’ experience managing and leading people, one of the biggest principles I have ever learned is that not every hill is worth dying on.

Think about how soldiers used to fight wars, hundreds of years ago:

They would meet across an open field for a battle. When the command was given, they would run and charge at each other, carrying their shields and brandishing their swords and spears. They would give their loudest war cries, trying to intimidate the bravery out of the opposing side.

But each group of soldiers had commanding officers. And as the battle raged hot, the commanding officers would take constant measure of how the tides were turning. And eventually, very often, one group or the other might sound the loud cry, “Retreat!”

Why would they retreat? Because the tide of battle wasn’t going their way, but the battlefield wasn’t important enough to die on that day.

And friend, even in the Body of Christ, sometimes we forget that not every field is worth dying on.

For example:

• Somebody at your church might get mad or even leave the church because the pastor doesn’t agree with their favorite eschatological stance (rapture or no rapture, or pre-trib, post-trib, mid-trib, no trib).
• Teammates in church offices and Christian ministries can’t accept one another’s differences enough to walk in unity.
• People pitch a fit and chew out the worship leader because the worship team didn’t play their favorite song or style of music … even though the worship is about Jesus, not about them.

But you have to pick your battles—even in the Body of Christ.

Some fields are worth persevering in. When we’re fighting for the sanctity of life, the rights of the innocent, and morality in government, YES! Those things are literally life-or-death situations for individuals and for our nation.

But, some things just aren’t. Some topics may be important, but what other people believe just isn’t of eternal significance. Take eschatology, for example. Jesus is going to come when He’s going to come, and not even He knows the day nor the hour. Look at Mark 13:32:

But of that day and hour no one knows, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father (Mark 13:32 NKJV).

Since not even Jesus knows when He is coming back, is it really important to turn your neighbors into enemies by arguing pre-trib, post-trib, no-trib until the death of your relationship? In this case, aren’t love and humility more important?

Likewise, if your coworker, spouse, or friend does something in a way you wouldn’t have done it—but they get the job done just fine—does it really matter that they didn’t do it your way? Is it really worthwhile to hurt the person, damage the relationship, and cut down their confidence just so you could try to prove yourself superior in arguing about it or criticizing them?

No. It’s not.

I believe that a lot of adults practice bullying behavior without realizing what they’re doing.

Think about children behaving as playground bullies: they cut others down so that they can feel better about themselves. They try to make themselves superior to assuage the pain of insecurity in their own heart.

Have you caught yourself doing that?

Even if you didn’t realize that’s what you were doing, have you ever tried to argue a point that isn’t a life-or-death situation, just so you can win?

Friend, in order to walk in love, it’s time for us in the Body of Christ to practice the very necessary skill of discerning our battles and knowing when something isn’t worth fighting for.

That means not every hill is worth dying on.

It means not every battle is worth fighting.

And it means that not every disagreement or difference needs correcting.

What is the Lord saying to you about this? How can you do a better job walking in love when other people are different than you? Leave a comment below.

Jamie Rohrbaugh is the founder and CEO of From His Presence. She is the author of Getting to Know the Sevenfold Holy Spirit, and she seeks to equip you to carry His manifest glory everywhere you go. Her resources have been published by YouVersion Bible Plans and in Charisma magazine, as well as on The Elijah List, Spirit Fuel, and various other ministry outlets. You can find free mentoring on her podcast, Take Your Territory with Jamie Rohrbaugh, which is available through your favorite podcast streaming app. Download her free prayer tool, Praying the Names of God: 555 Biblical Names of God and How to Use Them in Prayer and Worship, here. Photo Credit: Comstock/Photo Images.