What does biblical conflict resolution have to do with governmental intercession? Everything. The habits we practice in our everyday lives profoundly impact our attitudes and intercession. Disobeying God’s plan for dealing with offense on a personal level impacts our ability to hear God clearly as we intercede for our community, state, and nation. 

Do you have a family member or friend who is just getting under your skin? If so, did you know that the Bible says you should go to them and talk about whatever they are doing to wrong you?

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It’s true!

Moreover if your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he hears you, you have gained your brother. But if he will not hear, take with you one or two more, that ‘by the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established.’ And if he refuses to hear them, tell it to the church. But if he refuses even to hear the church, let him be to you like a heathen and a tax collector (Matthew 18:15–17).

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Yes, Jesus told us specifically in this passage that we are to initiate confrontation when someone wrongs us.

Of course, confrontation should be done in love, with compassion and understanding. It should also be done with a goal of reconciliation. And we should always remember to take the proverbial log out of our own eye before we approach the speck in our brother’s eye.

However, lots of people prefer to avoid confrontation completely — and Jesus’ words do not give us permission to avoid confrontation when someone wrongs us.

It’s funny that the Bible teaches us to have a spine, when too often modern Christianity does not.

I see a lot of Christian teaching about being under authority, serving others, and being self-sacrificing, and all of those things are Biblical — until they aren’t. We have to have boundaries and recognize when something is OK and simply requires us to humble ourselves, versus when things cross the boundaries established in Scripture and need to be confronted. However, much teaching in modern Christianity neglects the subject of Biblical boundaries completely.

Nevertheless, Isaiah 8:20 tells us: To the law and to the testimony! If they do not speak according to this word, it is because there is no light in them. God’s Word must be our only standard, and we must test all things against what the Word says.

Hey, conflicts happen. None of us is perfect. But, we still have to love our neighbors as ourselves — and that means that we do actually have to love ourselves.

Godly confrontation is part of loving yourself.

You can’t love yourself if you don’t have a spine and stand up for what’s right when you are mistreated. Think of it this way:

If you walked down the street and saw an adult beating a small, helpless child mercilessly, what would you do? You would stop and intervene, right? That would be the right thing to do, and anybody with an ounce of compassion would probably stop and help.

But what we don’t think of is this:

When you are continuously mistreated or abused, you are that child. You are the one who is being beaten up. And Jesus tells you specifically that you are to be the one to confront the person who mistreated you.

Here’s the process Jesus told us to follow:

1. If you have a problem with somebody, go to them directly by yourself.
2. If they won’t listen to you, take one or two more people as witnesses, and go to them again.
3. If they won’t listen to you with your witnesses, then go to the church and tell them about it. (This would mean your Sunday school class or small group, for example.)
4. If the person still won’t listen, have nothing more to do with them.

Oh, yeah — if they won’t listen, also shake the dust off your feet.

Are you upset with someone right now?

If so, please follow Jesus’ instructions and go to them. Remember to:

• talk to them about the problem in a loving way;
• express to them that you do care about achieving proper resolution, and that you’re not trying to pick another fight or just come out on top for its own sake;
• use “I feel” language, together with specific examples — not accusatory or vague language.

If the person will hear you, you have gained your brother (or sister) back. And nine times out of ten, they will hear you.

Friend, confrontation is difficult, but the Lord will give you grace. He will help you to do this, for by confronting your brother or sister you are obeying Jesus’ own commands. He will always give you the grace you need to obey Him!

Do you need to confront something today? What is the Lord saying to you? Comment below!

Jamie Rohrbaugh is the founder and CEO of From His Presence. She is the author of Getting to Know the Sevenfold Holy Spirit, and she seeks to equip you to carry His manifest glory everywhere you go. Her resources have been published by YouVersion Bible Plans and in Charisma magazine, as well as on The Elijah List, Spirit Fuel, and various other ministry outlets. You can find free mentoring on her podcast, Take Your Territory with Jamie Rohrbaugh, which is available through your favorite podcast streaming app. Download her free prayer tool, Praying the Names of God: 555 Biblical Names of God and How to Use Them in Prayer and Worship, here. Photo Credit: mediaphotos/Getty Images Signature.