If we could say there is such a thing as a favorite tool of Satan, I believe the giving of offense would be that tool. He uses this to keep believers from being effective and walking in the fullness of their calling. It keeps people in bondage, divides churches, and ruins relationships.

Pray for your fellow intercessor.

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The Greek word for “offense” is skandalon — from which we derive the English word scandal. It refers literally to the trigger part of a trap, onto which one would attach a piece of bait, and the word can be defined also as a stumbling block. Armed with this information, we begin to gain insight into one of Satan’s cunning tactics against believers: He uses offense as bait, in hopes that once we’ve taken that bait, it will consume us and cause us not only to stumble ourselves, but also to become a stumbling block to others.

Offense is surely a major problem within the Church. But it’s not a problem that can’t be overcome. God is calling for His Church to be pure and spotless. Speaking for myself, I don’t want to be like the Pharisees: polished on the outside, but filthy on the inside. I want every part of me to be cleansed, especially the innermost parts. People may not be able to see that far, but God can, because nothing is hidden from Him. 

While researching the statistics of why people leave churches, I found out that a whopping 66% will leave a church not for any legitimate reason, but due solely to some perceived offense. Something was said or done that caused an adverse reaction. A person feels wronged in some way. That is the bait. It begins in the mind. The offended person cannot stop thinking about it. He or she is hurt, but rather than communicate about it, the hurt person will mull it over until the heart changes — and not for the better. The person becomes bitter, angry, and defensive. The behavior begins to change based solely on those emotions. The seed has been planted. No good fruit will ever come from an offended person.

Becoming Vulnerable

In writing this Cleansing the Temple series, I find it necessary to share my own story, including my deliverance from a “religious” spirit. We Christians do struggle with all of these things, though often we are reluctant to share our experiences. I believe it’s important to let others see that we are not perfect. We mess up a lot, even as Christians — except that we can learn from our mistakes and grow through them. The reason I make mention here of offense and of leaving churches is because I made this mistake as a young Christian. I was upset about something that affected me, and I addressed my pastors over the issue. That was a good talk, there was no contention or drama. I felt it was productive on both sides.

After a few weeks passed, though, nothing had been resolved, and my patience began to wear thin. Immediately, my thoughts changed, because I felt ignored. Notice that the key word is felt. I made the mistake of letting my emotions dictate my thoughts and then my actions. The longer I waited, the more upset I became. I began missing service, something I had not done before all this. In my own mind, I was convinced I was right. I continued missing service frequently and unapologetically, even though I had been serving in various capacities. The pastors noticed my absence, and they did reach out to me several times, but I ignored their phone calls. Finally, being consumed with bitterness, I told them I would not be attending the church anymore. They said they wanted to talk with me about it, but I said no. I was indignant. I stayed upset with them for a long time. It was a mess. Now that I am older, I can look back and say that I was no “victim” in the way the relationship ended. I had put them in a difficult situation. I couldn’t see that then, but I do see it now.

I had served in various capacities: with the children, with gospel outreach, and wherever else I was asked to serve, and I loved it. When I gave in to the harmful seed of belief that I was being ignored, though, I lost my sense of peace and the joy of serving. I wasn’t happy leaving the church; in fact, I regretted leaving and breaking my commitments. I let down those who had counted on me. I was overcome by a mix of emotions: depression, guilt, anger. I had too much pride to apologize for my behavior. Offense will steal your fruit of the Spirit, and you will then react with works of the flesh. It’s not a fair trade.

But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. For the desires of the flesh are against the Spirit, and the desires of the Spirit are against the flesh, for these are opposed to each other, to keep you from doing the things you want to do. But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law. Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, envy, drunkenness, orgies, and things like these. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God. But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things, there is no law (Galatians 5:16–23).

I talked with others to share “my side” of the story. When I did, people assured me that I was in the right. Little did I know that offended people have a way of attracting each other. Feelings of offense not only wound but also set you up as a “victim.” An unhealed person makes himself or herself the victim in every story, and the “offender” is the villain. Remember skandalon, the trigger portion of the trap: Everyone’s got a trigger — that moment in which we will either respond correctly, or else react according to our emotions. My personal testimony before I knew Jesus involves rejection and abandonment. So in this case, feeling ignored was the trigger, and once I allowed my mind to run with those thoughts, I reacted poorly.

Perhaps if I’d answered the pastors’ many phone calls, the problem could have been resolved peacefully. Instead, I took “the bait,” and thus became critical and untrusting. I was wounded and didn’t even realize it at the moment. They weren’t ignoring me. They were pastors who were incredibly busy and actively serving their community. They were dealing with a rapidly growing church, and here I was demanding to be heard. Did you know that an “offense” is more often perceived than actual? Sometimes it’s completely unintentional. There are people walking around who feel offended by someone, and all the while the “offender” has no idea of having done anything wrong. And how can he or she possibly know, if there is no communication taking place? 

Don’t Take the Bait, Take Up Your Armor

If you find yourself in a situation in which you are being tempted in this way, remember who is behind the “offense.” Consider: Who is called “the accuser of the brethren?” Who wants to see a divided church? Who benefits if you isolate yourself and detour your calling? Who ultimately wins if you take the bait and become trapped? It certainly isn’t the Church. You have an enemy, and he hates you. He is like “a roaring lion seeking whom he may devour.” But the armor of God is a full body covering, from head to toe. We need to be covered — especially in our minds and hearts. 

Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms (Ephesians 6:11–12 NIV)).

Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life (Proverbs 4:23 NLT).

Then He said to the disciples, “It is impossible that no offenses should come, but woe to him through whom they do come! (Luke 17:1 NKJV). 

We are going to be offended; Jesus said it’s impossible that offenses won’t come. But just because they will come doesn’t necessarily mean we have to react — we can learn to prayerfully respond. In fact, Jesus tells us what we can do to avoid falling into the trap.

Take heed to yourselves. If your brother sins against you, rebuke him; and if he repents, forgive him. And if he sins against you seven times in a day, and seven times in a day returns to you, saying, ‘I repent,’ you shall forgive him” (Luke 17:3–4 NKJV).

Use Your Words

Notice that this says if your brother has sinned against you; were you really wronged in the matter, or is this perceived wrong merely something that was overinflated in your own thoughts? You must be able to distinguish. (Another note is that this is addressed to brothers, meaning that there has to be a relationship, literally or spiritually. So beware: Trying to rebuke someone with whom you have no legitimate, genuine connection may not bode well for you; in fact, it could get ugly.) 

Jesus said that if an actual offense is the case, we must rebuke. I say this with great caution, however. The word rebuke means to reprimand, warn, or restrain. This needs to be done after much prayer. There is a way to correct someone that will benefit them. It must be done in the right spirit. We are to “speak the truth in love.” If you have no love for your brother or sister, you may not be ready to give a rebuke. The correction isn’t about tearing down a brother or sister; it is about making them aware of their sin, in which case much grace is needed. A rebuke is intended to lead to repentance and restoration. Jesus then says that if the offender repents, we are to forgive him or her. Forgiveness is not optional; in fact, the Lord even said that if the offender sins “seventy times seven,” forgiveness is required. 

Maybe you are the offender who has caused your brother or sister to stumble; if you recognize that someone’s behavior toward you has changed, chances are you have offended that person somehow. But the command from Jesus is clear: Go and be reconciled.

Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First, go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift (Matthew 5:23–24 NIV).

The message from both gospels is that for reconciliation and forgiveness to occur, there must first be some type of communication. Do not go into this without seeking God for His direction and assistance. If you’re wondering how things went for me, here goes: After several years I did run into my former pastor, and yes, I did apologize. It felt great to release everything that way, and there was peace and restoration. I am truly happy for them, as they are for me. I realize this may not be the case for everyone. Some people are quicker to forgive, and it depends on how you were wronged, but the call to forgive still stands.

Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful (Colossians 3:12–15 NIV).

If you recognize that you are offended by someone, and you desire to be free, let’s pray. But a word of caution: If you are serious about getting free from offenses and seeking the Lord sincerely, don’t be surprised if He brings into your path the people who have wronged you, or people to whom you owe an apology. I have found that sometimes the Lord tests your prayers. And don’t be surprised when the Accuser tries to trip you up again — remember that the first thing that will come under attack is your mind. But you have the mind of Christ — you can resist the Enemy.

Live in harmony with one another. Do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly. Never be wise in your own sight.  Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all. If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all (Romans 12:16–18).

You can pray this way:

Father, I ask to be set free from any spirit of offense. I yield my emotions to You; help me get them under control. Help me to respond, not react. Help me to walk in forgiveness toward others, as I’ve been forgiven by You. Help me to love as You do. Heal my heart from hurtful, negative words spoken over me that have caused me to take offense. Soften any hardness of my heart that has occurred from someone’s actions toward me. I invite Your Holy Spirit to expose the roots of any bitterness in me. I want my joy, peace, and love restored, along with all the other fruits of the Spirit. Give me clarity and grace to recognize any misunderstandings and accidental offenses, and teach me to respond properly. I forgive those who have hurt me, and if I have hurt anyone — intentionally or unintentionally — I ask You to forgive me, Lord. I want to walk in the fulness of my calling, and I want everything You want for me. Cleanse me from everything that defiles, including any bitterness from offenses. Create in me a clean heart, and renew a right spirit within me, in Jesus’ name. Amen.

This article is part of a series:

Cleansing the Temple, Part 5: Pride

Cleansing the Temple, Part 4: Offense – Intercessors for America (ifapray.org)

Cleansing the Temple, Part 3: Compromise – Intercessors for America (ifapray.org)

Cleansing the Temple, Part 2: Self-Worship – Intercessors for America (ifapray.org)

Cleansing the Temple, Part 1: The Religious Spirit – Intercessors for America (ifapray.org)

Do you desire for God to cleanse you from everything? Share your thoughts below.

IFA contributing writer Gloria Robles is a passionate intercessor with a prophetic voice for today. For more from Gloria, go to Spotify or Anchor and listen to her podcast, Something To Share. Photo Credit: ninjaMonkeyStudio/Getty Images.